The Pancrack Papers - anthology idea.

[Guest]

[Mr. Goldberg]

Pancrack is an almost forgotten generic Yorkshire term circa 1950 for benefits/dole money. The origin of the word lies in having sufficient money to buy eggs to crack on the side of your frying pan.

I have been in and out of the benefits systen at various points in my life and am setting up a collection of experiences of living upon it...not just from myself but others who have experienced similar scenarios.

I will not merely be writing from the financial side of this situation but also from the domestic/social/culturalside also to form an anthology of pan crackers....hence: The Pancrack Papers.Anybody interested ?


 

[Ploe]

I'm really into this idea. If I may, I'd like to put together a piece for this anthology.

[Mr. Goldberg]

That sire would be a most welcome addition to the anthology.

[Jay]

I'd also like to do something for this if its okay?

[Mr. Goldberg]

Without your contribution young Janus it wouldn't be worth a-printin' me ol' mungus mate 

[Ploe]

Thanks... 

[Mr. Goldberg]

Aw c'mon fellah I meant thee an' all. 

[The Bolshevik Dandy]

Count me in,yeh???

[Mr. Goldberg]

Good. Any more ?

[ahazura]

I'm hungry for an omelet now.

[Mr. Goldberg]

Never been a fan of eggs myself. One food I can't eat. They make me puke actually. Then those "Alien" films came along...put me right off.

[Vix0r]

I found what they based those films on- the birth of the parasitic wasps. The mother wasp injects baby caterpillars with her eggs and they grow under it's skin until they bite through, paralysisng the caterpillar temporarily to do so, and emerge from it's body.

I saw it, it was disgusting. The poor caterpillar then makes a cocoon around the baby wasp larvae instead of itself because of a virus they gave it and sits there protecting them from parasites that would infect the baby wasps as they change state. It then dies of starvation.

Disgusting and barbaric.

[Mr. Goldberg]

Yup knew about that - that's where Geiger got the idea from. Thing is I knew that from my PG Tips tea card collection when I was about 13 so it wasn't news.

I also heard about a certain parasite  cows can have living under their hides. They are often gouged out alive by farmers - looking something like that thing which caused John Hurt's stomach upset.

That's nature Vixor ... lavishly beautiful yet alarmingly horrific to our civilised gentilised human minds. Ted Hughes comes closest to celebrating that instinctive violence in nature.

If you think about it what you find in Polystyrene trays at Morrisons has had a similar fate at our horrific hands. We just don't think about it. Anymore than the wasp does.

[Vix0r]

I do. However it upsets me so much I now force myself explicitly not to. =/

Only found out about those wasps the other day on an "in the womb" documentary.

We can't expect nature to be all kind and loving- that's not realistic, I know that. You need good and bad for a balance. Still, things like that will always make me cringe and feel sorry.

[Mr. Goldberg]

Well that's why as a species we supposedly place ourselves "above the rest " isn't it ? But I suppose if you'd been born an Aborigine or African tribeswoman living in the bush gouging, gutting and skinning something would be second nature to you.

I remember the first time I gutted a fish...scooped its entrails out in my right hand before frying it. Then it was a stomach heaver...now it's a chore.

[Vix0r]

I used to fish a bit too. Just one day I began thinking about what this must feel like for them, knowing their lives were ending and feeling all the pain we inflict without even thinking about it. We're taking their lives and they're just objects to us. A bit disrespectful, no? I believe there are some cultures who thank the animals for their bodies- that's nice I think. Mind, I would never like to have anything like that happen to me so decided I wouldn't inflict it on anything else. Atleast, not knowingly. Now I'm a wee peely-waly and I scar easily, but I'm happy so all is good. ^-^

[Mr. Goldberg]

Only been fishing once in my life..about 4am somewhere and I remember catching this warm beautiful steaming thing (forgotten what breed)...any how v. upset when I'd done it and my mate took the hook out of its lip nd we put it back alive.

Couldn't be an angler...most boring hobby there is.

[pease-smith]

Heres the perfected version of Tips From The Bottom.

1) I spent an afternoon with Him. “This curry house below your flat is the best in town”. He moved with a definite swagger, defiance around his person. I braved the cold cool with Him; it stung when I breathed in. All the people were going about their weekend duties. But what I was doing that afternoon was far less trivial. With a musket tone he muttered “You never know what you can get from what people leave behind.”

2) We had been crossing the road, and a piece of paper had caught his eye. He flipped it over with wise fingers “Look out for lottery tickets, I once won a tenner with one I picked up”. He carried on “Always look out for money on the streets as well, especially on Sunday mornings”. I learnt about the ways of piss head fumbling and back alley shaggers losing there wares in a moment of passion. My awareness of the streets and the treats they can unfurl unfurled. I preened his words. I soaked up his being. I was witnessing a master class.

3) Witnessing with an empty stomach that is. He drew out a bus ticket, not any old one, “See that gets you a big mac for £1.99, always pick them up when a promotions on.” We headed on towards the famous burger chain, when one sight of the long queue inside drew revulsion from his genius. Queues are obviously below Him and by rights me.

4) We headed to a local pub instead for breakfast. The congenial atmosphere drew pluses from Him. We had missed breakfast. We ordered main meals instead and went to sit down. Whilst going there we passed the multicoloured condiments trolley. I grabbed at a few sauces to cheer up my meal and some sugar to sweeten my coffee. He shhh’d me. I looked at Him. He gathered a clumped fistful of said condiments and sent them pocketwards. “Do this, whenever you’re here, it’s not technically classed as stealing”. I smiled apprehensively. Pupil very much in awe of mentor.

5) We sat down. We waited for our meals. Me fish and chips, Him stew and dumplings. “My brother once told me never to give more than a glance to a lady accompanied by a boyfriend, I was once naïve and used to stare, ensue mad boyfriend”. So he’s not totally infallible, he takes advice. Our meals came and we ate. He picked at it with a tenacious insistence. We ate up then it was time to leave. My fish and chips had been okay but the fish was not greasy enough, hence lacking character and authenticity. Ah well. On the way out I saw a nice looking lady. It must’ve been for too long because the man at the side of her looked a tad mad. Still learning.

6) I gave Him the review on my meal, his opinion on the stew and dumplings “The best thing about it was the peas.” My head and stomach full, it was time to part ways. “Cheerio cocker.” He walked a magical silhouette into the background. Fading to a blur. I think even to this day about my meeting with Him, I know deep down I will never be the same. All this and he’s still on the bloody dole. Typical.