I am metaphors

[Guest]

[Will]

The point is pretty simple and stupid; you describe yourself metaphorically. 

I am the last thing you think about before you decide you want to masturbate. But some people say I am a morning shit after a night of whiskey and pickled jalapenos. I call myself the enema that makes you pure. But in actuality, I am a nimbus cloud with a belly full of cats and dogs.

[Ploe]

I am the consolation of rain when the humidity is too close to be in. People that don't know me find I'm unexpected honey in their tea when they don't take sugar. Not that I'm saccharine - just expected refreshment soon outdone with shock.

(I'm shocked outdone is considered a word but aswell isn't.)

[nauseamfromrum]

i am the aesop grapeshop