Damned tongue twister

[Guest]

[Vix0r]

Today at work I picked up some reduced cakes and made my way to the check outs. Here the girl asked me if I wanted a bag and I made to explain my decision of yes by telling her it was so people wouldn't think I was stealing.

However, my stupid FUCKING brain decided to replace this with so people wouldn't KNOW I was stealing and I was handed my change in stony silence before I ashamedly went back to the bakery, not quite comprehending if I'd said what I thought I'd fucking said.

WHY does my tongue do this?!?! Why can't I put together normal fucking sentences like everyone else?! I do it all the time and I look like a fucking fool, but this time it sullied my name and that girl was left thinking I was a dishonest theif.

I'm not, and I'm so ashamed and angry I could cry. I feel like a prize idiot, as I always do when I mix up the simplest of words, but now I'm branded a thief by my very own tongue.

[nauseamfromrum]

if you had already paid--why does this matter?

[Mr. Goldberg]

I know what you're getting at and it's easily done...years ago I had this brilliant little student in my English classes... the lads were all crazy about her and she was hyperactive, distracted, disruptive and  as mad as a hatter for all sorts of family issues - yet when conditions were right she could turn out some of the best work you've ever seen.

Anyway one fine day we were all discussing her in the staffroom and I came out with,

"There's such potential there she just needs a little more discipline..."

The meeting  went stony silent, eyes rolled, sidewards glances...and that "aye aye..." look.

That one word had conjured up images from St. Trinians and it was not my intended meaning...staffrooms are notorious in that your every word is weighed up for meaning and intent...worse than a company boardroom, until most people reach such a point they go round saying next to nothing to each other for fear of misinterpretation.

What I actually meant was that she needed more controlled and ordered direction. That's all. Chose the wrong word. Anyway I then spent the next five minutes justifying what I'd just said until somebody finally sniggered and that was that.

Anyway I soon learned after that, that in meetings you say as little possible. Erm...so that's that. Really.

[Vix0r]

if you had already paid--why does this matter?

Because I was still working and went back up to the bakery, so could have, if I wanted, put things I hadn't paid for in the bag.

I just don't like people thinking bad things about me when they're not true either and this time I caused it all on my own.

[Ploe]

We all say stupid things. Plus I stole from work alot. It was mostly my time though.

[nauseamfromrum]

well hey... the other day i had to read a passage to myentire class and i read "stingy" as "STING-ee" instead of "stinj-ee"  felt kinda dumb

[Ploe]

We all say stupid things. I'm from Yorkshire, so my grammar is place all out of how. Yeah?

[Mr. Goldberg]

Heard a classic the other night from a mutual friend who has managed to contract the affirmative "aye"  to... "a"... as in apple.

[The Inspector]

Having read your story, whilst entertaining it does appear that your tongue does not do justice to your vocabulary.  Your use of adjective is most colourful, if the adjective for 'brain' is strictly correct then it perhaps explains your problem, incapacity probably due to the constant 'to-ing' and 'fro-ing'.

[Shaze]

Vix0r I always ALWAYS mess up what I say.. seriously ask Myke the amount of times words just came out my mouth and sounded so wrong..

I have also done it a few times to a guy i liked and now he seems to think I want to "bed" him which I beg to differ do not ever want to do anything except run as far as possible from him.


Also I hate accidentally sending texts to the wrong person, worst when your talking about that person you accidentally sent it to... Awkward...